My son is about the same age as Myles - and your beautiful letter showed up this morning after a pretty raw night for me emotionally. I still haven’t fully processed why I was in tears last night after putting the baby to sleep, but I know it has a lot to do with what you’ve written here. About my own path as a human, now as a father, and thinking of my own experiences with my parents and what I needed and didn’t get from my own dad while he was alive and when I was younger. Complicated and heavy, but man, you really capture the emotional tone of this experience incredibly well. Thank you.
Man, thank you. Trust and believe I had some nights I cried while I held him in my arms. I still can't explain why and what came over me. This comment really made my night. Wherever you are on this path and this planet, just want to say thank you. And on behalf of those who owe us apologies that we will never get - I'm wishing us forgiveness, grace, and peace.
Marc, I can tell Myles is so lucky to have you as a father. Fatherhood is not something that is explored enough, how men don't become fathers just like that, but because they want it too. My brother became a father 5 years ago, and I am seeing him on a completely different light. The love he has for his children (there's a tiny one of 6 months now too) is undescribable. The funny thing though is that he has given me the role of telling our family's story to my nephew and niece because as he often says "you're the storyteller of the family."
As to answer one of your questions, I'll pick the last one. It is about my mom fighting for her life to read two artcles I wrote in a magazine. For the backstory, my mom is not a big reader as she was raised by parents who didn't go to school but learned reading and French in church, but to see her fighting sleeping to get to the bottom of those articles touched me (and amused me because she was so cute), and made me feel loved. She was half-asleep as I told her to go to bed and she could read them the next day, but she answered, "I can sleep and read at the same timd don't you worry." 🤣. And she actually did. The next day she told me she was super proud of my work and I was even more surprised that she asked me questions showing her sleeplessness didn't make her less alert! I believe she has some superpowers.
Emmanuelle, I feel just as lucky to have him. I love this story about your mother! Our mothers had to be so strong. I am grateful for them. I think at night, when we were sleep, they washed their capes.
I’ve never once heard either of my parents apologize, ever. Ironically I was always the one apologizing for things that probably didn’t even need an apology. And that cuts.
For me, learning the power in repair with my children (over the parenting perfection I, at first, insisted of myself to right the wrongs of my childhood) has been beautifully humbling and redemptive. I have and will hurt them -- and I have and will be the first to make it right when I do.
Kristine, this comment got me in the feels. I just realized the same- I never heard them apologize either. I can't imagine how better I would be for it if I heard them expressed such a simple act. Cheers to us, for being better. I love your last line - we have to and get to be the models.
Oh gosh - I may be too emotional this morning for this. This bit got me -- "This is why I write,
For you." I feel like so much of my own parenting is to be conscious that I am in fact a protective factor for my child in a way no one ever was for me. The both/and of it is so heavy sometimes. Healing because I know showing up for her this way helps me too, but hurtful because I now know it isn't so hard to just be present for our children. The both/and, woof. Thanks for writing this!
I don’t know if enough grace is something we can ever reach after wild upbringings. Like we could always give ourselves more grace because we should be the first one to give ourselves that. (If not given by our guardians, as you)
I have been trying to give myself more grace like this piece; before the fact.
Knowing we are going to despite out best efforts not be perfect, say something different than intended, not hear or translate the words someone meant, or perhaps misinterpret another's actions. Preconceived grace is my 2024 notion
I love this idea for preconceived grace. Your right, we can always give ourselves more of it. Learning to give my own parents more grace as Myles gets older.
I wrote a piece several years ago (which ended up in my first book) about the necessity of telling your kids "I'm sorry." It is a humbling but necessary practice. You're doing great ♥️
Thank you for sharing the love you have for your child in the poems you write and read, they move me to tears. I empathized as part of the human family with the love you have for your child,I felt they “watered the seeds of hope in my heart”.
Thank you for sharing the love you have for your child in the poems you write and read, they move me to tears. I empathized as part of the human family with the love you have for your child,I felt they “watered the seeds of hope in my heart”.
John I’m late - but this comment found me exactly when I needed it. Thank you ❤️ for sharing. I’ve never felt more purposeful in life. I really love being a dad.
So I grew up with parents who didn't apologize when they were wrong. They would buy a new toy, get my favorite fast food, let me watch what I want in lieu of an actual "I'm sorry ". I knew they were sorry but to not hear it made me feel like less than a person. Our children have to know that we are capable of being wrong, standing in the wrong, and apologizing for it. We can't expect them to apologize to us when they are wrong if we never reciprocate. It's great to see that you are self aware now to know that you're not gonna always get it right ❤
I know for our parents there is definitely an authority role that makes them feel that an apology isn't needed. But no gift can really replace some one truly expressing contrition for something. Thank you for sharing Jennice!
Post like this are so necessary! We rarely get to hear and feel the emotions of fatherhood! The work throughs of parents always seem to be a labor of love. Always a treat to read!
Appreciate you Sydney! Trying to keep leaning in as much as I can. Thanks for taking the time to comment and becoming a paid subscriber. Like you're already an auntie to him - thank you ! ❤️
You are indeed. Wonderful. If you don't know the work of Jeremie Lotemo and 'We are man enough' on IG and podcasts, I highly recommend checking them out. I think you will resonate. Stay wonderful x
Your voice reading to your son is moving. I apologize too to my children, and tell them that grown ups make mistakes all the time, and it’s in realizing the mistakes that you learn everyday until you die. Asking for forgiveness is an act of courage.
My son is about the same age as Myles - and your beautiful letter showed up this morning after a pretty raw night for me emotionally. I still haven’t fully processed why I was in tears last night after putting the baby to sleep, but I know it has a lot to do with what you’ve written here. About my own path as a human, now as a father, and thinking of my own experiences with my parents and what I needed and didn’t get from my own dad while he was alive and when I was younger. Complicated and heavy, but man, you really capture the emotional tone of this experience incredibly well. Thank you.
Man, thank you. Trust and believe I had some nights I cried while I held him in my arms. I still can't explain why and what came over me. This comment really made my night. Wherever you are on this path and this planet, just want to say thank you. And on behalf of those who owe us apologies that we will never get - I'm wishing us forgiveness, grace, and peace.
@raisingmyles Beautifully said, Marc. Beautifully written poem and beautifully said comment reply here.
Thank you for reading Mary!
@raisingmyles Absolutely, Marc! And thank you for sharing your writings with us! Much love to you and your family
So beautifully done. No parent will be perfect. As long as he knows you love him and how can he not - you’ll both do better than just survive.
Patris, thank you. So many times. in my childhood we were surviving. This chapter is about thriving.
MUST YOU BRING TEARS TO MY EYES EVERY MONDAY, MARC! 😩
Sorry, in advanced. The little man just does something to me 😩
Marc, I can tell Myles is so lucky to have you as a father. Fatherhood is not something that is explored enough, how men don't become fathers just like that, but because they want it too. My brother became a father 5 years ago, and I am seeing him on a completely different light. The love he has for his children (there's a tiny one of 6 months now too) is undescribable. The funny thing though is that he has given me the role of telling our family's story to my nephew and niece because as he often says "you're the storyteller of the family."
As to answer one of your questions, I'll pick the last one. It is about my mom fighting for her life to read two artcles I wrote in a magazine. For the backstory, my mom is not a big reader as she was raised by parents who didn't go to school but learned reading and French in church, but to see her fighting sleeping to get to the bottom of those articles touched me (and amused me because she was so cute), and made me feel loved. She was half-asleep as I told her to go to bed and she could read them the next day, but she answered, "I can sleep and read at the same timd don't you worry." 🤣. And she actually did. The next day she told me she was super proud of my work and I was even more surprised that she asked me questions showing her sleeplessness didn't make her less alert! I believe she has some superpowers.
Emmanuelle, I feel just as lucky to have him. I love this story about your mother! Our mothers had to be so strong. I am grateful for them. I think at night, when we were sleep, they washed their capes.
Haha, they definitely did!
Just lovely. Thank you for sharing.
I’ve never once heard either of my parents apologize, ever. Ironically I was always the one apologizing for things that probably didn’t even need an apology. And that cuts.
For me, learning the power in repair with my children (over the parenting perfection I, at first, insisted of myself to right the wrongs of my childhood) has been beautifully humbling and redemptive. I have and will hurt them -- and I have and will be the first to make it right when I do.
Kristine, this comment got me in the feels. I just realized the same- I never heard them apologize either. I can't imagine how better I would be for it if I heard them expressed such a simple act. Cheers to us, for being better. I love your last line - we have to and get to be the models.
Oh gosh - I may be too emotional this morning for this. This bit got me -- "This is why I write,
For you." I feel like so much of my own parenting is to be conscious that I am in fact a protective factor for my child in a way no one ever was for me. The both/and of it is so heavy sometimes. Healing because I know showing up for her this way helps me too, but hurtful because I now know it isn't so hard to just be present for our children. The both/and, woof. Thanks for writing this!
Sometimes, I realize I am raising twins. Both Myles and my inner child. I needed this kind of healing. Thank you so much for reading ❤️
I don’t know if enough grace is something we can ever reach after wild upbringings. Like we could always give ourselves more grace because we should be the first one to give ourselves that. (If not given by our guardians, as you)
I have been trying to give myself more grace like this piece; before the fact.
Knowing we are going to despite out best efforts not be perfect, say something different than intended, not hear or translate the words someone meant, or perhaps misinterpret another's actions. Preconceived grace is my 2024 notion
I love this idea for preconceived grace. Your right, we can always give ourselves more of it. Learning to give my own parents more grace as Myles gets older.
I wrote a piece several years ago (which ended up in my first book) about the necessity of telling your kids "I'm sorry." It is a humbling but necessary practice. You're doing great ♥️
Love this, Sarah. I think as adults we can always revisit how to truly apologize. Thank you for your kind words!
And heal our own wounds by admitting our faults to our kids.
Thank you for sharing the love you have for your child in the poems you write and read, they move me to tears. I empathized as part of the human family with the love you have for your child,I felt they “watered the seeds of hope in my heart”.
John, glad these found you. I also love that quote! I appreciate you for reading!
Thank you for sharing the love you have for your child in the poems you write and read, they move me to tears. I empathized as part of the human family with the love you have for your child,I felt they “watered the seeds of hope in my heart”.
John I’m late - but this comment found me exactly when I needed it. Thank you ❤️ for sharing. I’ve never felt more purposeful in life. I really love being a dad.
Beautiful, Marc. Healing yourself by nurturing Myles. Nurturing Myles by healing yourself. Thank you for your honesty.
Yes Elizabeth! I need to save that thought for later. People always say how lucky he is, but I feel like the lucky one!
So I grew up with parents who didn't apologize when they were wrong. They would buy a new toy, get my favorite fast food, let me watch what I want in lieu of an actual "I'm sorry ". I knew they were sorry but to not hear it made me feel like less than a person. Our children have to know that we are capable of being wrong, standing in the wrong, and apologizing for it. We can't expect them to apologize to us when they are wrong if we never reciprocate. It's great to see that you are self aware now to know that you're not gonna always get it right ❤
I know for our parents there is definitely an authority role that makes them feel that an apology isn't needed. But no gift can really replace some one truly expressing contrition for something. Thank you for sharing Jennice!
Post like this are so necessary! We rarely get to hear and feel the emotions of fatherhood! The work throughs of parents always seem to be a labor of love. Always a treat to read!
Appreciate you Sydney! Trying to keep leaning in as much as I can. Thanks for taking the time to comment and becoming a paid subscriber. Like you're already an auntie to him - thank you ! ❤️
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Lucky Myles. I can hear your Ancestors cheering you from here. (UK). #cyclebreaker xx
Donna! Thank you. I am actually reading Break The Cycle by Mariel Buque. I am a cycle breaker - it's ending with me. Appreciate you for reading!
You are indeed. Wonderful. If you don't know the work of Jeremie Lotemo and 'We are man enough' on IG and podcasts, I highly recommend checking them out. I think you will resonate. Stay wonderful x
Will do! Appreciate it!
Your voice reading to your son is moving. I apologize too to my children, and tell them that grown ups make mistakes all the time, and it’s in realizing the mistakes that you learn everyday until you die. Asking for forgiveness is an act of courage.
Beautifully said, Ana! Can't remember me asking. How old are your little ones?
My oldest son will be 9 in February, then we have our 6 yo girl and our 3 yo youngest, also a boy. They are a lively bunch 😅
Great. Loved it. 😍
Thank you, Abby!