One piece of unsolicited advice: don't hide the tears, ever. Let that boy know that we're allowed to cry, that it's okay for us to express ourselves that way. There are plenty of other ways for us to exhibit strength for our sons. In fact, allowing ourselves to be open emotionally is one of them. "It takes a strong man to cry in public," is something my mother used to say often. But yeah, first day of school (which we just had a few weeks ago), WOOF! Bring the kleenex.
You are 100% right! Vulnerability is really a dad's super power. What you suggest really makes me think how pivotal communication is. When I wrote that line, I thought about tears in the sense of him might thinking something is wrong. When did we begin to automatically associate tears with something being wrong? As always, I appreciate your engagement, my friend.
Absolutely. One very important delineation we've always made with our son is exactly that: Sometimes tears don't mean sad. And sometimes, like when I'm talking about my mom, who died a decade ago, the tears are both. Joy and sadness.
This was so bittersweet to read and I’m rooting for you to make it to season 54+ with a spin off. Your word choice in this letter and all the others are beautiful.
I used to think about the shoe dropping often due to certain personal milestones not being met and feeling as though life would be “incomplete” if it didn’t happen.
I want to be remembered for loving deeply and caring fiercely for those I’ve crossed paths with personally, professionally and everywhere in between.
Fortunately I have cable. My go to was Hulu because all my NBC shows were on there but now peacock is my go to since all the shows have moved there.
My show list is so long, I made a spreadsheet to keep track in my phone 😅
I would be interested to see you write about what you hope for his recreational socialization as he gets older. Will he be able to have the “play in front the house with all the neighborhood kids”, swimming lessons etc experience or something entirely different as children today seem to be on devices more?
A whole excel sheet for your shows sounds like a serious commitment!
I love that recommendation you made. Sometimes, I find myself trying to hide the fact I am looking at my phone while he is around. It's so hard not to though. Tech is everywhere!
As always, thank you for reading, commenting, and engaging!
I was watching like 8-10 shows at one point. Some were cancelled and some finished. Now with the strike, shows may not be back until 2024. Tech is everywhere and sometimes I wish it wasn’t.
Marc, this is beautiful and touching. It make me want to look over Myles’ shoulder when he reads it. Your questions. 1. I don’t think about the D word that often. When I do, I remind myself that I still have responsibilities I want to be here to see through. My dad is 81. My dog is 16. My cat is 12. I want to be able to continue to care for them. 2. I would like to be remembered for a few things. The first is my relationship with animals. The second is kindness -- I do my best but I’m reminded that it’s not always pure. And for the fact that perhaps the thing I enjoy most in life is celebrating my friends’ successes. This brings me such great joy. 3. I got rid of my TV a few years ago but I still watch some shows on my iPad. I’ve been watching Luther, which I love. I love documentaries -- the best I’ve seen in a long while is “Legacy” based on the writings of a Frenchman (a scientist/ historian, I presume) narrated by Sting. It’s the best explanation I have heard as to why human beings are different than animals and how we have harvested energy at significantly more complex levels to evolve. 5. What to tell Myles? I’ll have to think about this one. And Misc -- I look forward to being at my computer tomorrow so that I can manage my subscription!
Ben, I can tell your kind. I'm grateful that you really love celebrating your people, I don't even know you personally but I can feel that! I really enjoyed Luther. Anything with Idris I love. Recently , we watched Hijack on Apple TV - so good. Thank you for managing your subscription! Myles and I hope to continue to make it worth while.
“There is a permanence to ink that outlives every man’s life. I’m trying to write myself into a future I cannot guarantee I’ll be in. I never cared to be remembered until now.”
I think about death a lot, probably more than most people. I don't have a fascination with it. I'm not morbid or depressed. I talk freely about it, even to my daughter. I don't want her to be scared of it or afraid to talk about it. Death is natural and everybody must face it. Better to talk about and mentally prepare ourselves for the inevitable, I think, than to distract ourselves and miss the beauty of it all. As I age, though, I've noticed myself saying things kike, “I wonder if I'll be around that.”
I never really thought about my own mortality until Myles came along. I desperately want to be around for all of this. But just in case these words will really have to do.
To be a fly on the wall with those conversations with your daughter. Think it’s something you’ll write about? Or too close to home?
Thank you for sharing your letters. They sound as if I wrote them. I didn't, but I think the same as you. May you be so blessed to write until your last breath.
Donna, it means a lot that this resonates with you. I’m committed to continue sharing as long as I can - I want the world to know what l mean when I say how in love I am with this blessing. Hope you are able to stick around for the journey.
My oldest grandson is named Nyles. My daughter had a beloved dog who she invented the name for.
He passed months before her son was born. She wanted to keep his memory alive so she named her first child that.
Now, every time we say, I love you Nyles, he comes back to life.
That's love for you.
Your love for your child stirs the pot inside me where 'anything is possible' lives. Don't be afraid. Love is a flame that doesn't go out. It is a beacon in our cold, uncaring universe. It's why we're here. Bless you, your son and the woman who brought him to you!
Marc -- love these letters. I used to write to my baby girl when I was drowning at my corporate job. What interesting questions!!
2. I want to be remembered for my writing too and that I did as much good as I could to make a positive impact on my kids + community. I used to work on systems change and society-wide BHAG at work, though it was soul crushing to creativity and my autonomy.
3. I do not watch tv, nor do I watch any streaming services. My mom bought me a tv because she thought it was weird I didn't have one; my brother pays for Disney+ for my kids, and my spouse plays chess at night.
Sadia! I appreciate you for reading and engaging. I had to look up what BHAG meant! I learned something new- thank you. I hope whatever line of work you are in now still fuels you!
I watch TV mostly with my wife. After that - I’m not really interested. Since there’s no TV but there are kids, what does self care and entertainment look like for you?
Here to listen as you navigate - wisely and beautifully so far.
We can’t be in the writers room every day but sometimes we get to knock and are let in.
Patris, thanks for being here. A whole fact. That's such a good metaphor. I wish I could of added that to my own!
Beautifully put, as ever.
One piece of unsolicited advice: don't hide the tears, ever. Let that boy know that we're allowed to cry, that it's okay for us to express ourselves that way. There are plenty of other ways for us to exhibit strength for our sons. In fact, allowing ourselves to be open emotionally is one of them. "It takes a strong man to cry in public," is something my mother used to say often. But yeah, first day of school (which we just had a few weeks ago), WOOF! Bring the kleenex.
You are 100% right! Vulnerability is really a dad's super power. What you suggest really makes me think how pivotal communication is. When I wrote that line, I thought about tears in the sense of him might thinking something is wrong. When did we begin to automatically associate tears with something being wrong? As always, I appreciate your engagement, my friend.
Absolutely. One very important delineation we've always made with our son is exactly that: Sometimes tears don't mean sad. And sometimes, like when I'm talking about my mom, who died a decade ago, the tears are both. Joy and sadness.
Man, I write about the work you are practicing. Hoping I can walk the walk when the time arises!
You can and you will!
What's the saying? The best parents are often the ones wondering if they're doing a good job. The worst parents are the ones who know they are.
"I'm exhausted but full of joy, so full that my life feels like it's bursting at the seams."
What a beautiful read, my friend. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for reading Roscoe!
This was so bittersweet to read and I’m rooting for you to make it to season 54+ with a spin off. Your word choice in this letter and all the others are beautiful.
I used to think about the shoe dropping often due to certain personal milestones not being met and feeling as though life would be “incomplete” if it didn’t happen.
I want to be remembered for loving deeply and caring fiercely for those I’ve crossed paths with personally, professionally and everywhere in between.
Fortunately I have cable. My go to was Hulu because all my NBC shows were on there but now peacock is my go to since all the shows have moved there.
My show list is so long, I made a spreadsheet to keep track in my phone 😅
I would be interested to see you write about what you hope for his recreational socialization as he gets older. Will he be able to have the “play in front the house with all the neighborhood kids”, swimming lessons etc experience or something entirely different as children today seem to be on devices more?
Yes, we need that spin off!
Loving deeply is the only way to love.
A whole excel sheet for your shows sounds like a serious commitment!
I love that recommendation you made. Sometimes, I find myself trying to hide the fact I am looking at my phone while he is around. It's so hard not to though. Tech is everywhere!
As always, thank you for reading, commenting, and engaging!
I was watching like 8-10 shows at one point. Some were cancelled and some finished. Now with the strike, shows may not be back until 2024. Tech is everywhere and sometimes I wish it wasn’t.
Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
Marc, this is beautiful and touching. It make me want to look over Myles’ shoulder when he reads it. Your questions. 1. I don’t think about the D word that often. When I do, I remind myself that I still have responsibilities I want to be here to see through. My dad is 81. My dog is 16. My cat is 12. I want to be able to continue to care for them. 2. I would like to be remembered for a few things. The first is my relationship with animals. The second is kindness -- I do my best but I’m reminded that it’s not always pure. And for the fact that perhaps the thing I enjoy most in life is celebrating my friends’ successes. This brings me such great joy. 3. I got rid of my TV a few years ago but I still watch some shows on my iPad. I’ve been watching Luther, which I love. I love documentaries -- the best I’ve seen in a long while is “Legacy” based on the writings of a Frenchman (a scientist/ historian, I presume) narrated by Sting. It’s the best explanation I have heard as to why human beings are different than animals and how we have harvested energy at significantly more complex levels to evolve. 5. What to tell Myles? I’ll have to think about this one. And Misc -- I look forward to being at my computer tomorrow so that I can manage my subscription!
Ben, I can tell your kind. I'm grateful that you really love celebrating your people, I don't even know you personally but I can feel that! I really enjoyed Luther. Anything with Idris I love. Recently , we watched Hijack on Apple TV - so good. Thank you for managing your subscription! Myles and I hope to continue to make it worth while.
Marc, you are very kind. I appreciate it. I also watched Hijack and really enjoyed it. I think Elba or Tom Hutchinson will be the next Bond.
Absolutely love this!!!
“There is a permanence to ink that outlives every man’s life. I’m trying to write myself into a future I cannot guarantee I’ll be in. I never cared to be remembered until now.”
Beautiful.
Thank you, Michael
I think about death a lot, probably more than most people. I don't have a fascination with it. I'm not morbid or depressed. I talk freely about it, even to my daughter. I don't want her to be scared of it or afraid to talk about it. Death is natural and everybody must face it. Better to talk about and mentally prepare ourselves for the inevitable, I think, than to distract ourselves and miss the beauty of it all. As I age, though, I've noticed myself saying things kike, “I wonder if I'll be around that.”
I never really thought about my own mortality until Myles came along. I desperately want to be around for all of this. But just in case these words will really have to do.
To be a fly on the wall with those conversations with your daughter. Think it’s something you’ll write about? Or too close to home?
“Think it’s something you’ll write about? Or too close to home?” Nothing is off limits—for the most part.
You and me both: college ain’t cheap - I've got the student loans to prove it.
This is beyond beautiful and I repeat: you are a writer, and I amend: you’re finding your audience!
Thank you family - I receive that. This letter really had me in my feelings about being here to see it through.
Its okay get in your feelings, that is why you have them!
Thank you for sharing your letters. They sound as if I wrote them. I didn't, but I think the same as you. May you be so blessed to write until your last breath.
Donna, it means a lot that this resonates with you. I’m committed to continue sharing as long as I can - I want the world to know what l mean when I say how in love I am with this blessing. Hope you are able to stick around for the journey.
My oldest grandson is named Nyles. My daughter had a beloved dog who she invented the name for.
He passed months before her son was born. She wanted to keep his memory alive so she named her first child that.
Now, every time we say, I love you Nyles, he comes back to life.
That's love for you.
Your love for your child stirs the pot inside me where 'anything is possible' lives. Don't be afraid. Love is a flame that doesn't go out. It is a beacon in our cold, uncaring universe. It's why we're here. Bless you, your son and the woman who brought him to you!
Thank you so much Donna! I needed encouragement this morning!
Marc -- love these letters. I used to write to my baby girl when I was drowning at my corporate job. What interesting questions!!
2. I want to be remembered for my writing too and that I did as much good as I could to make a positive impact on my kids + community. I used to work on systems change and society-wide BHAG at work, though it was soul crushing to creativity and my autonomy.
3. I do not watch tv, nor do I watch any streaming services. My mom bought me a tv because she thought it was weird I didn't have one; my brother pays for Disney+ for my kids, and my spouse plays chess at night.
Sadia! I appreciate you for reading and engaging. I had to look up what BHAG meant! I learned something new- thank you. I hope whatever line of work you are in now still fuels you!
I watch TV mostly with my wife. After that - I’m not really interested. Since there’s no TV but there are kids, what does self care and entertainment look like for you?
Lovely and powerful. Thanks.
Thank you for reading Becky!
This had me in tears while simultaneously expanding my heart. Such a gorgeous letter to your son. ❤️