So many things on these lists made me smile. Breaking an egg into the carton! One pacifier! (That sounds impossible) but my favorite is you raising your inner child. Incredible that no one ever talks about that as something that is not only important to you but really important to being a parent.
Interesting for you to say this given that your children are older. Would you say that journey of recognizing your own self as a child never ends as a parent?
My children are older (30 & 24). My goal was to raise them to be independent of me - and I seem to have done okay, with a few occasions where a little more help was needed (early house moves and the like, but even that is now out of my domain; loans from the ‘bank of mum’ are no longer required, and my daughter, the younger child, was telling me she wants to buy a scooter to get to and from work and her dad offered to lend her the money and she turned him down). But more directly to answer the question you asked (journey of recognising yourself as a child), they both now offer me advice and information. Being open to recognising that I don’t know it all, though once they thought I did, means that both sides of the parent/child equation get to grow more. Equally, they have moved well through the teen years (where they, instead of me, ‘knew everything’), and listen well to considered advice, which I rarely offer now without being invited. Growing up the first time is hard. Growing up again, for me, was in many cases even harder. But oh, the joy of reaching a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin, where stress struggles to get a foothold and usually fails. So. Worth. It. One of my current mentors, a gentleman in his mid 80’s, tells me that the first 60 years of childhood are the most complicated. I’m looking forward to it all getting easier in a few more years.
We have tons of pacifiers but he only took the one from tbe hospital. I’m so afraid if we lose it beucuse it’s now he sleeps. I’ve thought so much about this idea of how parenting really gets at the soul of who we were as children. So important to think about for real.
I love how you said you're raising Myles and your inner child. We learn a lot about ourselves when we have children and we see the parts of ourselves that need reparenting. I remember when my daughter was about 4 or 5 and that's when I decided to go to therapy because I didn't want her to have to relive the pain I experienced with my mother. Per usual I love reading your post.
“I'm raising you and my inner child. The sonogram never showed twins.”
🥹my whole heart beamed reading this. Reading your letters helped me recognize that my inner child has some healing to do too. I’ve always thought about what parenthood could look like for me and most of what came to mind is things I would do different but it never quite crossed my mind the emotional landmine (maybe that’s too extreme) that could also be awaiting me.
As always thank you for your vulnerability and sharing this journey with us. Rooting for you.
Julissa, you’ve really been here since the beginning. Grateful for you for always sharing parts of yourself too. I think landlmine works perfectly because it can really feel
I feel like I say this a lot, but I really feel like the lucky one. I’ve been learning so much about me. So much more work work to do. Thank you for being here Diana ❤️
I was told kid first me last! The new world order. Black and white. No regrets. Sometimes I put me first but the world order is as it is.
Myles btw has good taste in music!
I don’t think I’m raising my inner child but that inner kiddo surely turns up and has a way of sneaking in suggestions. Very good point.
Exhaustion? Tell me about it. It’s present all the time!
Separated from loved ones for a long time can as n be a blessing! Just sing Freedom and enjoy and just maintain basic functions. Until normalcy can return. But there’s no normalcy in life.
When does it get easier? Never. Get used to it. Anyone telling you it gets easier is lying. 😂
The only thing that is going to make it possible is to keep the conversation going between you and Myles and between mum and Myles. There will be times when he’ll want to speak to mum only or you only. And sometimes to you both.
Knowing you picked the best partner to parent with is such a wonderful feeling. An exhaustion woe I had once was crying in search of the car keys when they were in my back pocket lol. Yay for 8mo! It doesn’t get easier, but it does get better ✨
I wish someone told me that instead- it only gets better. I shed some real tears last week one night when he wouldn’t go back to sleep. This like will humble you 😂
Another delight - a lot of tenderness and a lot of hilarity mixed in. The pacifier crisis looms and is very very real! I learned from my sisters' babies and mine always had 4 or 5 on the go, but they STILL sometimes preferred a specific pacifier.
When you said "I'm raising you and my inner child. The sonogram never showed twins" you made me think of an Egyptian saying that goes "Children raise us", which means raising children forces us to raise ourselves in the process and re-examine our unhealed wounds. You are in it now, my friend.
I love that quote and now I need to read more about it. I think once you have children you commit to having a life of growing pains. I’m sure you would agree(?)
A hundred percent. I use the video game comparison even though I hate video games, lol. Every time you get used to one level, you move up and it's hard all over again.
I wouldn't say it gets easier, you just solve one problem to acquire another. Once you nail sleep schedules you get night terrors, voracious eaters suddenly demand three items in consistent rotation, and the preschool teacher always reminds parents that early childhood is 0-8 😉 There are exhausting moments, but for me, so much joy and possibility because I can have the open dialogue with my daughter that is still a struggle with my own parents. You're doing work that is not only healing for you, but will reverberate across generations beyond Myles, and that is what makes the fatigue worth it.
Anytime I think about how hard it it is now - I think about the generational work. That’s what really gets me through. Thank you for this reminder Sophia ❤️
“I'm raising you and my inner child. The sonogram never showed twins.” This one really struck me. As we prepare for the arrival of our baby girl, I am sure this will be an interesting dynamic to navigate. Also, the one about daycare. We’re still figuring out what we will do but I sometimes want to cry thinking about going back to work after only 3 months.
Also I love how you write about your wife with such wonder and awe! It’s apparent how much you love her!!!
First of all - an early congrats on the little one coming! I watched my wife go between joy and sadness going through her four months. It’s sad how we throw moms back to work after such a short period. It’s giving trash.
I really do. I’m so grateful for her. I’m thinking of sharing the story next week of how I proposed to her. I try to share the love because I think it’s important she recognized, but also I wish I read more men loving their partners openly (if that makes sense).
What a gift it is to witness our littles grow and become. Thank you so very much for sharing Myles with us, Marc. I’m not a parent but my 7 nieces and nephews are my world. You and Mom are real ones because ONE pacifier?!😭 I used to be a nursery teacher and one of our best practices would be for parents to pack AT LEAST 2 😂🤍
I come from a small family. It wasn’t until I moved down here in Bama with my wife did I become an uncle to 10 different kids. Trust me, one pacifier isn’t by choice 😂 he only takes the one he first got at the hospital. He thinks the rest of them are just chew toys 😂😂
Like all things, parenting is a gift with challenges from God. Not everyone comes alive with parenting. Some (many?) run away. But if you stay. If you cannot take your eyes and heart away. Yes, parenting is a lifelong part of you and proves NECESSARY for you to give your honest best attention and participation to keep the most light glowing behind your eyes. Your children need your honesty, though sometimes they may not know and you may doubt your importance in their lives. Still you must say a prayer and give your best, loving truth. Children hear even when they don’t respond. Don’t we?
Oh, and don’t get me started on grandchildren. It goes double in sweetness and importance.
Oh, and at 78 years old I now know how much love I was given and took for granted. I was a pouty, selfish, argumentative child and still got love. Sometimes tough love, for me. But what I see now was the best people had to give me.
So many things on these lists made me smile. Breaking an egg into the carton! One pacifier! (That sounds impossible) but my favorite is you raising your inner child. Incredible that no one ever talks about that as something that is not only important to you but really important to being a parent.
The inner child is what resonates most with me too, I am currently in the process of doing the same thing. It's deep work.
Interesting for you to say this given that your children are older. Would you say that journey of recognizing your own self as a child never ends as a parent?
It keeps going through generations. You’ll be a grandparent one day and see it.
My children are older (30 & 24). My goal was to raise them to be independent of me - and I seem to have done okay, with a few occasions where a little more help was needed (early house moves and the like, but even that is now out of my domain; loans from the ‘bank of mum’ are no longer required, and my daughter, the younger child, was telling me she wants to buy a scooter to get to and from work and her dad offered to lend her the money and she turned him down). But more directly to answer the question you asked (journey of recognising yourself as a child), they both now offer me advice and information. Being open to recognising that I don’t know it all, though once they thought I did, means that both sides of the parent/child equation get to grow more. Equally, they have moved well through the teen years (where they, instead of me, ‘knew everything’), and listen well to considered advice, which I rarely offer now without being invited. Growing up the first time is hard. Growing up again, for me, was in many cases even harder. But oh, the joy of reaching a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin, where stress struggles to get a foothold and usually fails. So. Worth. It. One of my current mentors, a gentleman in his mid 80’s, tells me that the first 60 years of childhood are the most complicated. I’m looking forward to it all getting easier in a few more years.
We have tons of pacifiers but he only took the one from tbe hospital. I’m so afraid if we lose it beucuse it’s now he sleeps. I’ve thought so much about this idea of how parenting really gets at the soul of who we were as children. So important to think about for real.
I love how you said you're raising Myles and your inner child. We learn a lot about ourselves when we have children and we see the parts of ourselves that need reparenting. I remember when my daughter was about 4 or 5 and that's when I decided to go to therapy because I didn't want her to have to relive the pain I experienced with my mother. Per usual I love reading your post.
This is so beautiful to do for s child. It helps them realize hopefully that we are doing the best we can.
That’s the ultimate hope Senetta! Thank you ❤️
This is so special and Beautiful! I wish I knew Love like this as a child, would definitely want a parent like you.
Brandy this means a lot- just saying thank you. Realizing through all of this, we are just doing our best.
“I'm raising you and my inner child. The sonogram never showed twins.”
🥹my whole heart beamed reading this. Reading your letters helped me recognize that my inner child has some healing to do too. I’ve always thought about what parenthood could look like for me and most of what came to mind is things I would do different but it never quite crossed my mind the emotional landmine (maybe that’s too extreme) that could also be awaiting me.
As always thank you for your vulnerability and sharing this journey with us. Rooting for you.
Julissa, you’ve really been here since the beginning. Grateful for you for always sharing parts of yourself too. I think landlmine works perfectly because it can really feel
Like that.
Glad to be here☺️
Myles is so lucky to have you as a Dad, and sounds like he has a wonderful Mom too.
Thanks for sharing your journey, and good luck getting enough sleep.
I feel like I say this a lot, but I really feel like the lucky one. I’ve been learning so much about me. So much more work work to do. Thank you for being here Diana ❤️
A pleasure, Marc. I always enjoy your posts.
I love these. How many have I told you this is such a great idea? Well that’s cause it is.
Shall I tally up how many times I have told you than you. Add this to my debt - thank you, Stan.
Point 6 is beautiful!
I remember when my kid was born
I was told kid first me last! The new world order. Black and white. No regrets. Sometimes I put me first but the world order is as it is.
Myles btw has good taste in music!
I don’t think I’m raising my inner child but that inner kiddo surely turns up and has a way of sneaking in suggestions. Very good point.
Exhaustion? Tell me about it. It’s present all the time!
Separated from loved ones for a long time can as n be a blessing! Just sing Freedom and enjoy and just maintain basic functions. Until normalcy can return. But there’s no normalcy in life.
When does it get easier? Never. Get used to it. Anyone telling you it gets easier is lying. 😂
lol I realized they wee lying two months in 😂 thank you!
The only thing that is going to make it possible is to keep the conversation going between you and Myles and between mum and Myles. There will be times when he’ll want to speak to mum only or you only. And sometimes to you both.
Knowing you picked the best partner to parent with is such a wonderful feeling. An exhaustion woe I had once was crying in search of the car keys when they were in my back pocket lol. Yay for 8mo! It doesn’t get easier, but it does get better ✨
I wish someone told me that instead- it only gets better. I shed some real tears last week one night when he wouldn’t go back to sleep. This like will humble you 😂
Another delight - a lot of tenderness and a lot of hilarity mixed in. The pacifier crisis looms and is very very real! I learned from my sisters' babies and mine always had 4 or 5 on the go, but they STILL sometimes preferred a specific pacifier.
When you said "I'm raising you and my inner child. The sonogram never showed twins" you made me think of an Egyptian saying that goes "Children raise us", which means raising children forces us to raise ourselves in the process and re-examine our unhealed wounds. You are in it now, my friend.
I love that quote and now I need to read more about it. I think once you have children you commit to having a life of growing pains. I’m sure you would agree(?)
A hundred percent. I use the video game comparison even though I hate video games, lol. Every time you get used to one level, you move up and it's hard all over again.
I wouldn't say it gets easier, you just solve one problem to acquire another. Once you nail sleep schedules you get night terrors, voracious eaters suddenly demand three items in consistent rotation, and the preschool teacher always reminds parents that early childhood is 0-8 😉 There are exhausting moments, but for me, so much joy and possibility because I can have the open dialogue with my daughter that is still a struggle with my own parents. You're doing work that is not only healing for you, but will reverberate across generations beyond Myles, and that is what makes the fatigue worth it.
Anytime I think about how hard it it is now - I think about the generational work. That’s what really gets me through. Thank you for this reminder Sophia ❤️
#1. All!!
Wow, the noticings were so powerful.
“I'm raising you and my inner child. The sonogram never showed twins.” This one really struck me. As we prepare for the arrival of our baby girl, I am sure this will be an interesting dynamic to navigate. Also, the one about daycare. We’re still figuring out what we will do but I sometimes want to cry thinking about going back to work after only 3 months.
Also I love how you write about your wife with such wonder and awe! It’s apparent how much you love her!!!
First of all - an early congrats on the little one coming! I watched my wife go between joy and sadness going through her four months. It’s sad how we throw moms back to work after such a short period. It’s giving trash.
I really do. I’m so grateful for her. I’m thinking of sharing the story next week of how I proposed to her. I try to share the love because I think it’s important she recognized, but also I wish I read more men loving their partners openly (if that makes sense).
Makes a lot of sense. I am looking forward to reading that!!
What a gift it is to witness our littles grow and become. Thank you so very much for sharing Myles with us, Marc. I’m not a parent but my 7 nieces and nephews are my world. You and Mom are real ones because ONE pacifier?!😭 I used to be a nursery teacher and one of our best practices would be for parents to pack AT LEAST 2 😂🤍
I come from a small family. It wasn’t until I moved down here in Bama with my wife did I become an uncle to 10 different kids. Trust me, one pacifier isn’t by choice 😂 he only takes the one he first got at the hospital. He thinks the rest of them are just chew toys 😂😂
Like all things, parenting is a gift with challenges from God. Not everyone comes alive with parenting. Some (many?) run away. But if you stay. If you cannot take your eyes and heart away. Yes, parenting is a lifelong part of you and proves NECESSARY for you to give your honest best attention and participation to keep the most light glowing behind your eyes. Your children need your honesty, though sometimes they may not know and you may doubt your importance in their lives. Still you must say a prayer and give your best, loving truth. Children hear even when they don’t respond. Don’t we?
Oh, and don’t get me started on grandchildren. It goes double in sweetness and importance.
Again, I appreciate your sharing.
Thanks.
🙏
This was so beautiful.
Oh, and at 78 years old I now know how much love I was given and took for granted. I was a pouty, selfish, argumentative child and still got love. Sometimes tough love, for me. But what I see now was the best people had to give me.
Can’t grieve.
❤️ Pass it forward.
Beautiful. Even though it took sometime, what a beautiful feeling to know you weee loved as a child ❤️